Healing

Two weeks ago I told you about our beloved pets, Molly and Roxy.

If it had been up to me, they would have been the last bunnies we ever had. I was not ready to move on. I couldn't even think about cuddling another furball and it not being one of them. It was just too painful. But - it's not just up to me. After we buried our sweet girls in my Dad's backyard, LJ started asking for new bunnies and she wanted them. right. now. So for her sake, I started looking at ads. It didn't take us long before we found 2 sister rabbits that were almost too adorable for words. We spent about an hour with them before we decided to head to the bank so we could come back and buy them. (I had purposely not brought any cash as to avoid an "impulse purchase." So much for that!) We picked out names, discussed how precious they both were, and how lucky we were to actually have found them so close to our house at just the right age. One was pretty mellow, and the other full of spunk. We just knew that they would be perfect for us.

On the way to the ATM, I got a text message from a girl, K, I had left a message for earlier that day about the bunnies she had for sale. I had asked her to send pictures because there were none listed with her ad. She explained that they were purebred Rex rabbits, and that they were 9 weeks old. Then she sent me this picture:

I immediately texted her back and made an appointment to come see them. I called the other seller back and told them that we were going to go look at some other bunnies just to be sure, and that we would let them know what we decided. Thankfully, I knew the woman from PTA and she was really cool about it and wasn't irritated at all.

When we got to K's house she had the bunnies waiting for us. Her little sister had them wrapped in a blanket and snuggled into a basket. They were beautiful. It immediately hit me of how little justice was done to them by the picture she had sent. We sat down on the floor and let the bunnies roam around. They didn't go far.

All 3 of them hopped up onto DH's lap and settled right in. When I took one from him, she snuggled into the crook of my neck and fell asleep, all-the-while chattering her back teeth in contentment. (it's called tooth purring, no kidding.) I was done. I had to have this one. I couldn't believe how mellow they all were! They were definitely snuggle bunnies - exactly what we were looking for. We knew we wanted 2, but DH and LJ couldn't decide on a second bunny. Pretty soon, they were asking if we could take all 3! Um, no. So after about an 1 1/2 hours, they finally chose and we brought them home.

Allow me to introduce our newest family members:

Allie - our Squirrely girl:and Sadie - Often referred to as "Sadie Sweetness":


I can't even begin to tell you how much it has helped me to heal to have them around. They are exactly what I needed. Both of them love to cuddle, and will let me hold them whenever I'd like, for as long as I need.

Sadie loves to be held like a baby, and usually falls asleep in this position:
When she is super relaxed, she lets her ears droop. She ends up looking like a little helicopter. It is so cute.

The first thing we did when we got them home (after a clean bill of health from the vet) is bathe them. This is usually not a fun task, because rabbits hate water just as much as cats. Imagine my surprise when they both let me bathe them, and then blow dry them without protesting at all! We have since bathed them 2 more times with the same result.

Did I mention how much I love them?

So, these are our new babies. We adore them. They are helping us to heal, and we are so very grateful for that. The day after we brought them home, LJ decided that she needed to go tell Molly and Roxy about their new sisters. She made sure to take them a few leaves of Romaine, and spent a good 15 minutes over their grave talking to them. It was a very touching sight. When we got home, she told Allie and Sadie that Molly and Roxy were happy they were here and that they told them to take good care of us. They both gave her kisses, and then begged to be held.

I think this is going to work out splendidly.

A Great Big Sigh of Relief

I just spoke to the IVF coordinator for my clinic. As it turns out, I won't actually be using all of these needles for injections. A lot of them are just to draw up the medication. Instead of 3 shots a day, I get to mix the meds together in a mixing vial, and then just do 1 shot.

I am SO much happier today! I might be able to do this after all! =D

Whoa!

My box of meds arrived yesterday and HOLY CRAP there are a lot of needles. 188 to be exact. Granted, 84 of those are for enough progesterone for 12 weeks... but still. That leaves 104 needles that I will be ramming into my own tummy.

Anyone else feel like throwing up? GAAAAHHH!

Dear Penny,

I miss you. What do I have to do to get you to start blogging again? Cookies? Chocolate? Just say the word.

Obviously, I'm not above public pleas, and I AM willing to beg. Also, this is kind of what you get when I can't follow your comments to a blog, don't have your email address, and know that you check my blog. =)

Did it work?

(Seriously though, love you lots and miss you most!)

Running

My favorite quote:

"Don't ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you aren't willing to move your feet."

We might not be sprinting yet, but we've definitely picked up the pace. ---------------------->

In Which Meim Falls Apart

(warning: LONG and DEPRESSING post ahead.)

I am a pet lover. Did I ever mention that? My weakness? Bunnies.

Last year for LJ's birthday we decided to get her a Rex Rabbit. Hubs had a connection at work, and the woman who breeds them, M, made us a deal we couldn't refuse. We ended up with 2 adorable bunnies. Molly and Roxy.

We did a lot of research before we brought them home and decided that it would be best if they were indoor bunnies. We live in a climate that can be quite brutal to these Fluffy Ones, and we decided that we would train them to be like cats; liter box trained, and family oriented.

We succeeded very well. Our sweet girls learned to do tricks by voice command, walk on a leash, and lots of other things that are mind-boggling to most people. (Bunny kisses, endless snuggles, and back massages included)

Last Thursday before we left for our trip, we took our babies down to the woman who we bought them from so that they would be taken care of while we were gone. At first we were going to take them, but simply couldn't fit everything required to do so in our car along with all the other camping necessities. We told her we would be back Tuesday morning.

By Monday morning, I was antsy. My allergies were killing me, and I was ready to come home. We decided to come home a day early, and continue our trip this weekend instead. We got home at about 4 o'clock and DH called M to ask if we could come pick up our bunnies. Her reply was that we couldn't. I wasn't sure what was being said, but M has had some marital issues and by the tone of DH's voice, I could tell something was wrong. He excused himself from the house and finished the call outside. I figured that she had a fight with her husband and that it wasn't going to work for her for us to pick them up that night. Oh, how I was wrong.

A few minutes later he opened the back door and asked me to come outside alone. Once outside, I noticed that he was shaking. He explained that we could not go pick them up. When I asked why, his face said it all. They were gone.

M told DH that she wasn't sure what had happened, and that they had been checking on them every 3 hours. They fed them at 9 that morning, and when they checked at noon, they were both dead. Dead -- I can't believe I just typed that.

This is about the time that I about collapsed in my backyard sobbing like an idiot. When I gained my composure, I had the lovely task of telling LJ. That is when my heart actually broke. She cried so hard she couldn't breathe. Her knees buckled and her whole body shook. It was the most heart-wrenching thing I have ever witnessed. I couldn't help but sob with her.

We dropped LJ off at my Dad's house and went to pick up our bunnies. When we got there, I lost my mind again, and stood weeping on M's front lawn. DH and M's husband went into the backyard to get our girls, and I -between sobs- asked M what happened. She told me (in a very irritated and defensive tone) that she didn't know, and proceeded to tell me how they had been so diligent and had checked their food and water, the cage, and all around the area they were in, and couldn't find a thing wrong. She told me how they took them inside during the heat of the day, and made sure that they had frozen water bottles in their cage to make sure they didn't get too hot. She simply "didn't know" what had happened. DH brought them into the front yard, and I again, cried my eyes out. I must have kneeled over them for a good 30 minutes telling them how sorry I was, and repeating how much I loved them both.

We left and took them to a vet who lives in our neighborhood and had him look at them. He took one look and told us that they died from heat stroke. He explained that rabbits usually do pretty good outside, even here in Utah, as long as they are in a shaded place. He told us how he could tell it was heat stroke, and then told us what their symptoms would have been. THEY WERE AWFUL! My poor bunnies suffered before God finally took pity on them and ushered them to Heaven. AND IT ALL COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED! He gently told us that there is no way that M wouldn't have been able to tell something was wrong if they had actually been watching them as closely as she claimed.

Today I am crushed. I could tell that something wasn't right in her story just by the way she told it. I know it couldn't have been that our bunnies weren't used to being outside because we let them play outside every. single. day. in our shaded backyard without ever having an issue. Our bunnies died from neglect. OUR bunnies. The ones that have toys scattered around my house, had just had their check-up with the vet 2 weeks ago, and that were a part of our family in every single way.

I will never again get to lay on my couch with Molly on my chest and look into her adorable little face and tell her how much I love her or thank her for being there for me through all the atrocities that occurred last year. She will never be there to sooth my tears, and nuzzle into my neck when she can sense I am upset. Roxy will never again re-arrange the rugs in my kitchen, or make me laugh by smoothing the wrinkles on their bed before she'll lay down. And neither one of them will excitedly hop to my feet when I walk in my backdoor.

I am SO angry! I don't know how to process this grief. I know how silly it sounds to be so upset over rabbits but nonetheless, these were exceptional little furballs! They are 100% irreplaceable. And to lose them in such a way... devastating.

To give you an idea of how much this has effected me: AF started today. IUI #11 was a complete and utter failure... AND I DON'T CARE!!! I can't express how much sadness I feel. I have never bonded to a pet the way I did with these two. I already miss them so much it hurts.

We buried them in my Dad's backyard wrapped in one of LJ's baby blankets, along with their favorite ball and LJ's stuffed animal, Ellie the Elephant. Ellie is who always makes LJ feel better when she is sick or sad, and she wanted to make sure that her bunnies would always have her to tell them how much she loves them.


Molly:


Roxy:
Rest well, Sweet Bunnies. We will love you forever and will cherish every moment we had with you. Thank you for being a part of our family. We will miss you so much!

Away

I'm going off line for a few days. We are heading to the Hub's family reunion and I fully intend to take advantage of the beautiful scenery and calming effects that are offered by the gorgeous canyons here in Utah.

I plan on swinging on rope swings over the river, reading a book near the bank, and to absolutely NOT, under ANY circumstances cave into the overwhelming urge to POAS. ( I really think we should all chip in, and create a 12-step program for this depressing addiction!)

Bye for now!