Does it EVER end?

So officially, we are taking a break. I decided after last months IUI that I needed some time off to heal. My hubby is incredibly supportive, and will pretty much do whatever is asked of him to help me through this. However, even though we aren't "trying" right now, I can't help but watch the calendar in anticipation. Should I test anyway? Is there a chance that I could be taken off guard? Probably not, but will I test? Maybe. It certainly doesn't help that I had mid cycle spotting. Very light spotting. You know, the kind that so many other would-be preggos say could be "implantation bleeding"? I'm so irritated. This "break" was supposed to help me relax. Um, NOT HAPPENING! I guess I'm still trying to find that happy, zen place that's just for me. (Either that, or I am as crazy as I think and infertility really is the nagging, hateful bitch that so many profess her to be.)