Inevitable

So officially, I'm still pregnant... kinda. That's what my RE told me this morning as he was checking to make sure that this pregnancy isn't ectopic. He called this an "inevitable miscarriage". There is absolutely nothing that can be done to save it.

I have started cramping and spotting, but I'm not sure if this is the miscarriage of just irritation from the ultrasound and pelvic exam this morning. He had to push pretty hard on me. It wasn't pleasant. I'm hoping that it is the miscarriage. I can't stand waiting (after the exam he told me that I would start bleeding within the MONTH).

I have to go in on Monday for a repeat beta, and then every Monday until it returns to zero. I wouldn't think it would take too long, seeing as it never got very high to start with, but he said I may be surprised. At the same time, they will be checking for some immunological abnormalities that may be causing these miscarriages. He told me that "next time" I will be treated with "aggressive" progesterone treatments. I'm not so sure how to take the smile on his face when he spaced his fingers about 3 1/2 inches apart and said "the needles are this long." I've never had to give myself injections. Wonder how that will go.

DH surprised me with an opal ring when we got home from the hospital. My due date is/was October 5th. He's so sweet. Now I have a blue topaz necklace for my December baby, and the opal ring for this angel. Hopefully I'm not starting a collection.

Thank you for all of the comments. It really has helped me these last couple of days. You are all wonderful and I can't thank you enough.