Friday, July 1, 2011

I should be sleeping...

...but instead I'm letting myself be, um. I don't even know.

I only have 7 weeks left! =) I only have 7 weeks left =(

I can't believe it's almost over. She's going to be here before we know it and although I'm absolutely giddy with excitement to see her precious little face... I'm so sad that it's almost! over! Where did the time go?

I lay here at night and watch my belly dance and all I can think about is how incredibly lucky we are. Even though there is so much going on right now and stress is nearly overwhelming, I am so happy. Right now, I have little EJ all to myself. I've needed this experience for so long and I am so sad to see it come to and end. I know, I know... I still have 7 weeks, but that is really not very long. I will miss her using my bladder as a trampoline, and stretching out sideways so I look like I have a watermelon in my shirt. I will miss her getting all hyperactive about 20 minutes after I eat, and I will miss my little mental conversations with her in the middle of the night after I've gotten up to pee for the 40th time.

This has been such a different experience for me. I am so much more appreciative. With LJ I was so naive, and took so so much for granted. And although by most people's standards I have plenty to complain about, I am LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF THIS! I get really frustrated when people try to get me to complain, or make comments like they pity me for being pregnant in the summer. OMG! NOT SUMMER! (*eye roll) "Aren't you just miserable?" , "I'm dying of heat, I can't even imagine how awful you must feel!"... this kind of thing. Okay, first of all... I am not miserable in the slightest. I'd spend my 40 weeks in Hades if it meant I got to bring this baby home. And really? Hot? The warmest it's been is 92*. WHAAAA! I have an air conditioner, and I'm not idiotic enough to spend my days out in direct sunlight. Why is this so hard for people to understand? Bottom line: I signed up for this. I begged God everyday for 8 years for this miracle. Why, for any reason - would I complain about it? This is EXACTLY what I asked for. This is not to say that pregnancy is always easy, but it IS always wonderful, and should never be treated as anything other than the miracle it is. Oh, and if one more person asks me if I'm going to be induced so that I can "just get her out of there", I'm going to kill someone. SHE'LL COME WHEN SHE'S FREAKIN' READY! She has my permission to use my uterus for as long as we're both healthy. I don't care if she waits until September! I am not going to wish this away for any reason! So, no. If I get my way, I won't be induced AT ALL! Ugh.

Wow. Sorry. Didn't realize all that was bugging me so bad. I do feel a bit better though. LOL

Oh, and I really need to thank you all for your kind comments to my last post. Things are still crazy, and time is just a'ticking away, but I really will survive. I know that I have so much to be grateful for, and that above all is affecting me daily. Although things are chaotic and I don't have any spare time (like I said.. I should be sleeping), I really am happy.

Thank you all for taking such great care of me. I heart you! Hopefully sometime soon I'll have a chance to catch up with all of you. But seriously. Thanks for always being here for me!

4 comments:

BU said...

I was the same way! Then Logan came 3 weeks early and I was so sad it was over! Of course happy to meet him but I was cherishing my pregnancy.

Annie said...

Amen to everything you said! I'm already sad to have just a few weeks left. I won't miss the anxiety of pregnancy, but knowing I'll never be pregnant again is just so SAD!

~R said...

Thank you for having such a positive attitude!! If I hear one more pregnant person complain I might scream. What I would do to be in there shoes right now!

tasivfer said...

I know what you mean! I go to whales class (normal people call this antenatal aqua aerobics), and the other whales all like to complain about being pregnant. Me? Yeah I'm having the same *symptoms*, but how awesome is reflux when it's because you have a healthy little boy bouncing around in there?! How great it is I have no lung capactiy - my boy's growing!! :-)