Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's that time!

So, seeing as Christmas is next week, I figured I should do a little holiday baking. I made the sugar cookie dough yesterday after I took the Munchkin to school so that it would be ready to bake when she got home.

Most of the day was spent cleaning (surprise) and getting everything in place for the baby. My belly started tightening around 1 o'clock, but I figured it was just Braxton Hicks as usual, and perhaps I should save the vacuuming for DH when he got home. I didn't want any lectures... you all know how he worries. I was so sure that it would be just another day, seeing as when I had my checkup Tuesday, I was dilated to a 2 and still 70% effaced, just like last week. Obviously this baby wasn't ready to come until next week... or so the Dr. guessed.

Well, after I picked up my Kiddo from school, I made her sit and do her homework as I rolled out the cookie dough so she could cut it into all the fun shapes that make sugar cookies so great. As we worked, I started to feel nauseous, so I started to get a little worried. It wasn't until then that I noticed that my belly had been tightening pretty regularly for the past little while, so I figured I'd better call DH.

As we pulled the last batch of cookies from the oven, DH arrived and we headed to my MIL's to drop off our Munchkin. She was so upset that she couldn't come with us to the hospital, but we assured her we'd call as soon as we knew anything, and with that we left for L&D.

When we got there, they hooked me up to all the fun monitors, and we watched the printed waves pitch high and steady. By now, it was really starting to hurt. I was definitely in labor! Then the nurse checked me. 6! I was at a 6! I was so glad that the Dr. made me pre-register "just in case".

I was determined that I wouldn't use an epidural (I didn't want one last time either) but about an hour later, I couldn't take it anymore. The contractions were coming so fast and HARD! I couldn't talk through them, and I had to remind myself to breathe. I just kept rocking in the rocking chair there in the room, hoping that it would progress things faster so that I could just get it over with.

After the anesthesiologist gave me the epidural, (such a strange sensation!) I just sat back in bed and watched in amazement the peaks on the printout tell me when I was contracting. I sat there for a while, just trying to focus on anything but the fact that I would soon be pushing a small person out a VERY small place. The nurse came in and checked me, and I had dilated to an 8, completely effaced. She was a little worried that my water hadn't broke yet, so she called the Dr. in (he was there for another delivery down the hall) and he decide that we needed to break it with that little hooky thing. Ya know, that extra long crochet hook thing... the one that looks like it very well could puncture my lungs at the same time as breaking the bag of water! Yikes! But, lo and behold, right as he was ripping the sterile paper off the hook, my water broke on it's own. I guess is just needed to be scared into submission. It must have been pretty scared, because that's when it freaked out my uterus, who then panicked and started contracting what seemed like every minute. Forget the epidural, even it couldn't take away ALL the pain my uterus was shelling out. About 1/2 hour later I started to feel a crazy amount of pressure so I sent DH to get the nurse. She told him that there was "no way" that I would be ready to push yet, but that she'd come check me in a minute. When she got there, I was a mess... totally freaked out and wanting to push... HARD! So.. of course just because there was "no way" I could be at a 10... I was at a 10! She got everything ready, called for back up (and the Dr.) and started having me push. All the fear was gone. I just wanted to push... it's all I could think about. It was so crazy!

Exactly 27 minutes later, at 11:33 pm, our precious angel was born. When I heard her cry, the flood gates opened and I lost it. After 5 1/2 long years, all the IF, and a pregnancy that seemed to last forever... She was here. She was so small, and yet her arrival was paramount for us. I didn't want to let her go, even an hour later. The nurses were all so great, and didn't take her from me until I was ready. 7 lbs. 3 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long. Perfect!

It was so funny. While I was holding her, I called the Munchkin and told her that her baby sister was here. She was so excited, but not nearly the reaction I thought I'd get. She happily said "Oh really? Is that her in the background? She sounds cute!". My MIL told us she'd bring her up, so I let the nurses take the baby to the nursery, and they moved me from L&D to the postpartum wing. When the Kiddo got there I bawled again. When she saw her sister, her face lit up and she grinned from ear to ear. "Can I hold her right now?" she asked. So, we made her sit down and DH placed her sister in her arms. She looked at her so lovingly, and was so gentle with her. She spoke so softly to her, most of the time, we couldn't even hear what she was saying. I can only imagine. It was the perfect moment. My 2 angels together at last. It couldn't have been more gratifying, and awe-inspiring.

So now, as I wait to be discharged this afternoon... I remembered that there are about 3 doz. sugar cookies at home waiting to be decorated. Like I said... perfect!*

At least this is how it might have gone if my baby had lived. Here's to empty arms, broken hearts, and missing angels.

Today was my due date.