Monday, November 21, 2011

...and then there's that.

See, I'm not even dead! Hooray!

I feel really bad because I feel like a terrible bloggy friend as of late. I have missed SO MANY posts and simply haven't had a chance to catch up. Honestly, I doubt I ever will. Hopefully it will be like missing one or two episodes of a good show. Eventually, you watch enough of the new episodes that you get the gist of what you missed. I still love you though. Really.

I think I have finally found my stride with this whole "incorporate-new-baby-into-every-day-life" thing. You would totally be impressed if you could see all the things I can accomplish with one hand. Miss E is a serious mama's girl, and has made it clear that her favorite place to be is in my arms (Hey! Mine too!) Although my house may not be as put-together as I'd like, I'm finding it hard to be annoyed. I remember all to well what it is like to have time for all those household chores (read: without baby), and I much prefer my life now. It seems that I get enough done that I don't feel totally embarrassed if I have unexpected company, but not enough that I'd actually invite anyone over (if you are reading this, you have an open invitation. I don't give this link to judgemental douchebags. LOL)

The one thing that I am still struggling with is survivor's guilt. Every time I log on here all I want to do is tell you all about my baby, and how LJ is as a big sister, and all the cute little things that make the last 8 years so very, very worth it. But every time I do, I feel like I'm rubbing it in. This is probably why there haven't been many posts lately. So, here's what I've decided. I am going to tell you all about EJ and all her cute little quirks. I want you to know how LJ is adjusting, and how my marriage is handling the new eustress. I want you to see how completely happy I am. But I also "get it". I don't want to stress you out if you are still struggling. I don't want to pressure you. So, here ya go. You have my permission (not that you need it) to ignore my blog. If you aren't feeling up to it... no biggie. I will still be here when you are ready, and I will still love you when you get back. And in between.

There. I told you. Hopefully that will be enough to kill the guilt. We'll see.

Stay tuned...

1 comment:

One Day said...

Oh Meim, I love it. I so get the survivor's guilt, and I'm SO glad that you've taken that step to try and kill the guilt!

I'm excited to see how everything is going. I hope you're doing well. We're...busy...but oh so very in love over here. If you get a chance, go check out my post on "Newborn Photos". I just want you to see the Luckies in all their naked glory :)

I've missed you!