Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Sing it, Sara!

*EDIT: The video was too big for my blog, so you can watch it here instead.

LOVE it!!

Excuse me while I push play... again.

Okay, I'm back.

This song is going on my IF playlist. There are a handful of people that I want to send this to, with the hopes that they'd get the point that I don't appreciate the comments like:

"Why do you keep putting yourself through this?"
"Maybe you just need to accept that it's not going to happen and move on with your life."
"You need to just prepare yourself to adopt."
(this one was said to me the day I got out of the hospital after my ectopic. Great timing, huh?)

or my personal fav,

"At least you got LJ. That's more than a lot of people get."

This one pisses me off the most, and of course it's the one I hear the most! Not only does it imply that I am ungrateful for my daughter, but it doesn't actually take her thoughts and feelings into account. Try listening to her plead with God night after night to "pleeeeaase send [her] a little brother or sister" or have to listen to her heart break (again) as she tells you about her latest friend to become a big sister. Wanting another child isn't just about me and my husband. We ALL feel that our family is not complete.

Ugh, sorry. If you haven't guessed this is just me venting. It's been one of those days. I'm sick of all the advice and instructions from people who couldn't possibly understand what this has been like for the last 7 years. The bad thing is this is all coming from people close to us (mainly immediate family). Is it any wonder that we've kept IVF a secret from almost everyone?

If you know me in real life and are reading this, consider yourself lucky... and warned. Don't say stupid stuff like this to me. I've had it with being polite. (Granted, I've only given this blog link to 4 people, and they all know better, but still. A reminder never hurts.)


Annie said...

People say the dumbest things! It pushes me to the edge sometimes - especially comments containing "at least" and "just". Grrrr. My hubby is just waiting for a catfight to break out in the hall at church one Sunday. I've still managed to keep it together - so far.

The sad thing is that even if the people who made these dumb comments were able to read your entire blog they STILL would not get it.

AnxiousMummyto3 said...

It is sooo hard for some of these people to have an inkling of what we are going through. That doesn't excuse the horrible things they say though. I am keeping this IVF so quiet because I know I will seriously slap them while on the FSH! I am just sooooo cranky!
Anyway I loved what you said about all feeling our family is not complete. That is exactly how we feel. I can't bear the thought of DD growing up without a sibling. I haven't a moment to listen to the song yet but I will come back. Also thanks soooo much for your email, you rock!!

One Day said...

Thank you so much for commenting, I really appreciate it. I've definitely thought about the possibility of this actually being an ectopic, especially with this leveling out HCG number. I'm going back in for another beta on Friday to see what happens and they'll keep monitoring...I'm scared.

And good lord, people can be horrendous. They have no idea, do they? It's so maddening! You're absolutely right, your family doesn't quite feel complete, then you should keep trying. You're a champion, and you're incredibly strong!