Monday, November 9, 2009


I went today to the OB that did my surgery to have my stitches removed. Life is a bit more grand today. I had no idea how much those blasted threads hurt until they were GONE!

I also had follow-up labs to see if my hCG levels are dropping appropriately. It is still at 38. I'm kind of pissed, because I thought for sure it would be below 5 this week. Isn't that what a D&C does? Remove all the "pregnancy tissue?" I completely expected this to go faster. On the 30th, the day of the surgery, my beta was 790-ish. The following Monday, it was already down to 55.

For those of you who have gone through this before, how long did it take for your betas to be back to "normal?" My RE won't even discuss TTC again until they are under 5. I need this to happen so that I can officially "move on" and get on with this baby-making game.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a recurrent loss specialist at the University of Utah. Hopefully we'll get some good news with this new round of tests. I'm ready for the negativity to be over.

Granted, my mood changes every 2.4 seconds, so maybe I'll post again in a few minutes and tell you that the sky is falling, because honestly.... it might be.

Oh yeah, and I have to tell you THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH for all the comments and support you have all given me. IRL, I feel like no one "gets it" and I'm stuck in a horrible horrible nightmare that nobody could possibly survive. You are the ones who are getting me through this. Thank you for giving me permission to be unstable. LOL LOL It's nice to know that it's okay to be crazy for a while, and that you'll love me while I lose my mind, then help me find it when I'm ready. I can't tell you how wonderful you are. I wish I could find the words.


Anonymous said...

I'm glad the stitches are out & you feel better from that. Here's hoping your betas get back to normal soon.

Don't worry - all the ALI community will stand by you. You can get as crazy as you like. said...

I hope your HCG levels level out soon...I am so sorry for the ordeal you have been through and I wish you happy healing and a rejuvenated fruitful quest.

Be good.

jenicini said...

Thank you for visiting for my wish and blog. I am so very sorry for everything you have gone through. Your strength to pick yourself up after this and start looking forward is unbelievable. If you start to feel a little bat chit crazy, that is perfectly acceptable! I do want to smack some sense into your SIL, but then again, most fertiles just have no clue. I am hoping that your levels even out and you can move forward when you are ready. {hugs}

Penny said...

I have no words of wisdom for you, but I hope you can get some answers in U. Utah.